Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Such a lonely word

Tuesday’s reflections on honesty

One conceit that I have, and I’m sure I have many, is that I usually think that I am being honest with myself, whereas I am quick to accuse others of kidding themselves. This crops up quite a bit at the gym.

I see people who are red in the face, sweating like a drug smuggler on the set of border patrol, and looking very close to death, but when asked how they are going, or what they thought of that session will immediately (or as soon as they have caught their breath) say “good, good”. I can’t help but think these people are either lying, or at the very least being dishonest with themselves.

But if, while I am gasping for air and blood bursting through my fat lined veins, you ask me how I’m going, I am likely to be honest,

and simply say “shit” or “shithouse” or “shitty” or maybe even “cocking arse”. So when trainer Phil from yesterday asked, I wasn’t really sure what purpose it was supposed to serve. Presumably it’s some form of encouragement, but I responded pretty grumpily and, in my opinion, honestly. I expect he’s used to surly fat bastards, and I’m not going to lose sleep over it. No more sleep than I’m currently losing, anyway.

Likewise when my boss at breakfast (same breakfast as last week - and just as nice – but this time with serving spoons) again asked “Did you enjoy it this time, Robbie J?” I still said no, because I didn’t. She told me she was going to ask every week. This didn’t, as some of you might expect, annoy me. I’ll actually be intrigued to see how I answer.

A few people have assured me, both today and yesterday, that once I get used to it – once it stops hurting and causing me to be constantly tired – then I will start to enjoy it. Personally I don’t think that is likely. I can easily see myself saying “hey, it’s not as bad as when it was hurting and causing me to be constantly tired, but I’d still rather play Grand Theft Auto”. What I can’t see myself saying is “let’s do that again!”


  1. Thanks....you know what you did!

  2. Did I get a song stuck in your head?

  3. I just read the whole blog thus far. You are so hilarious. For someone who is generally a pretty positive, cheerful guy, I find it extremely funny that a)You hate anything this much and b)You're consistently doing something you hate so much. I feel your pain but I also cannot stop laughing.
    I concur on the music front. Once ever, in my experience of various fitness and dance classes, has there been music that I liked. I think it was The Beatles. And it was so awesome.
    I eagerly await the next post.

  4. Once, back in the mists of time i did the occasional Tae Bo class (i'm feeling you in terms of the emotional response to having your heart get ready to pop out of your chest and being confronted by an overly cheery staff member asking if you're having fun yet).

    There was a fair bit of ACDC and the like played, and they used to finish up every session with Eye of the Tiger. I still hear that song and feel a combined sensation of sweaty nausea and relief.

  5. Ooh... also, verification word on the last comment; Honifima; George W Bush thinks the first atomic bomb was set off here.

  6. Okay, I must admit that AFTER my last session I said "I had a really good workout". BEcause it doesn't hurt anymore. It sounds like you are biting off more than beginners normally do..